lost, a poem

It started when I stepped off the bus.

The overwhelming sensation
of pain, emptiness, and hesitation

of something lost and something hidden.

What is this?
I said
to myself, for there was nobody
or head there but the air.

I looked around
and the bus was leaving
and I thought to chase after it
but I knew
I knew

that what I was looking for wasn’t there.


It started when I got off the plane.

A sudden lurch
like everything had fallen
collapsed, broken, crashed
tearing so deep, so gently that not even
or odd
or A, B, C, or D would have known.

I looked around
and the people kept coming
and I thought to reach out for it
but I knew
I knew

that a missing part wouldn’t be found there.


It started when I got off the train.

An unexpected jolt
of electricity, of jerk, of pain
of the rails
one, two, three!
so I looked around
as the doors began to close
hoping that this time

this time

i had remembered not to leave him behind
but I knew
I knew

that there had been nobody on the train but me.


I keep going back to the places I’ve been
like I’m looking for something
like I’ve lost something
like there will be some thing
that can tell me who I am and who I’m meant to be.